A Knitting Affair

errr …. am knitting socks, sitting here, watching a movie and turning the heel … and I start to panic about the fact that I am using up the yarn. That it won’t be in my stash anymore. And thinking about the new socks that I am planning on knittng. How I am not planning on purchasing yarn anytime soon … and started to freak because my stash will be dwindling (*gasp*)

Considering the size of my stash, this is pretty silly

What are the symptoms of anxiety attacks?

Anxiety attack symptoms include:

• Breathlessness
• ‘Racing’ heart
• Shaking
• Dizziness
• Stomach symptoms
• Blurred vision
• ‘Pins and needles’ sensations in limbs
• Difficulty swallowing
• Chest pains

and many others.

These physical anxiety attack symptoms are usually accompanied by strange or depressing thoughts and feelings of despair.

Although anxiety attack symptoms seem threatening, because no ‘real’ threat is present, these symptoms occur inappropriately and therefore do not represent ‘true fear’. Anxiety attacks are not the response to an actual threat but make the sufferer ‘feel threatened’; because the sufferer interprets anxiety attack symptoms as the response to a real threat, credibility is given to the symptoms and more fear is created, this produces more symptoms and an anxiety cycle is created.

What can you do to eliminate anxiety attacks?

Anxiety attacks can be eliminated very simply. Because anxiety attacks and high anxiety are the result of a learning process in the subconscious mind which causes the amygdala to react inappropriately, it can be ‘un-learned’ in the same way. This must be done in a structured way with ongoing support when required.

In order to effectively reverse the formation of anxiety attacks it is vital that the subconscious mind is taught to react to anxiety in a more appropriate way so that the ‘benchmark’ anxiety level is lowered; this will prevent sufferers from experiencing the symptoms, thoughts and sensations they tolerate every day such as anxiety attacks, panic attacks, OCD and phobias.

Through careful research and testing we have developed the solution which leads anxiety attacks sufferers down the path that every ex-anxiety attacks sufferer has followed to make a full recovery.

Our Method avoids all of the pitfalls and dead-ends that most anxiety attack sufferers travel along during their journey meaning that you can follow the most direct route to a full and permanent recovery.

(info from http://www.panic-anxiety.com/anxiety/attacks/)

… or … be like me … and take good drugs!

((yes this is me doing my daily NaBloPoMo post!)

I am SO tired.  The last few nights I had tried to go without any sleeping aids, add Cameron needing me and Whitley being restless, I haven’t gotten much sleep.

Tonight, it is warm milk, drugs, a bath and hopefully a blissfilled sleep.

I went to a lunch today at the Chamber of Commerce Sustainable Environmental Design series.

Speaker: Cameron Sinclair, Open Architecture Network & Architecture for Humanity

The idea behind Cameron’s charitable organizations is to create innovative, sustainable and collaborative design in areas where a difference can be made. Funding is provided by fundraising, donations and partnerships (one big provider is the sale of hot chocolate and cookies). Government funding is not sought after due to red tape and the politics behind the funding received. Instead, they work with people within the community to develop structures in which the community has a sense of ownership, thus ensuring that the community continues to take care of the structure long after it has been built (holistic approach). There is no “corporate naming” of facilities as the community does not take the ownership required and the development is wasted.

The focus is to take one small thing within the community and change/restructure/improve which will make a difference. Improving housing in the slums of cities will then improve the communities. Use the human resources available, pay them, thus benefiting everyone and creating a ripple effect throughout the community. These organizations do not do relief or recovery work, rather they look at the long term effect that can be provided within the community. It is important to not only look at the Environmental Footprint but also the Ethical Footprint.

Over the next two years there will be 28 projects around the world. There used to be a Calgary Chapter, however the support from the Architect’s in Calgary has diminished. Also, AMD Open Architecture Challenge has three projects, one for Asia, Africa and South America.

Personal Note: This presentation was extremely informative and motivating. We had two tables represented and I believe that every one of us left there with a “what can we do” mentality.

http://www.openarchitecturenetwork.org/

Temper tantrums drive me nuts.  Thankfully Cameron doesn’t have that many of them, however, when he does, he does them in style.  Today for example, we were having a wonderful day, lots of laughs, cuddles and giggles.  Then it was time for him to have a little nap before hockey practice. I should have known better. I KNOW not to wake him up until he is ready. I know that if we have something to do that I shouldn’t let him nap.  However, I forgot about all that until it was time to wake the kidlet up from his nap.

I woke him up, slowly. Did that help matters. No. But I kept trying, finally carrying him out to the car and off to hockey practice we went. Of course he was pissed off at me. But we went into the change room. And then he had Even MORE of a temper tantrum. Needless to say he didn’t end up playing hockey but I was able to finally calm him down.

I hate it when we have these moments. They take a lot out of me and him. I had to kick his dad out of the change room because I knew that giving Cameron more attention was not the way to go.  We ended up cuddling. Watched some hockey and then came home.  Cameron even knows that he has to apologize to his coaches for his behavior. He is good about that.

Now, he is reading “fishy” a story …

My son was on poppy patrol today. Watching to see who was wearing a poppy like him.  Saying “they remember” when he saw someone wearing one. Over breakfast, explaining to him what November 11 means. The significance of the poppy.

Driving along. On the 11th Hour, of the 11th Day, of the 11th month.  Listening silently, both of us, to the radio, a very well done moment that left me with tears down  my face.  Explaining to Cameron that he is named after a young man who died in World War I.

Never will I forget.

Would go to the bee movie and start to cry at the end. I’m such a wiener sometimes.  Today has been a busy day. The boy and I went out for breakfast and then did some running around. Since I got the oil changed on my car the oil light has been going on but all the systems seem fine.  I was able to get it into the service place by my house and they gave me a loaner car. They were just as perplexed about what was going on as I was.

Now the boy and I are putzing around the house.  I am working on my Rowan Project #1 cable sweater but I am going to ripppp it out.  As much as I like doing traditional sweaters I can do the body in the round. I think that I am also going to lower the neckline a bit. I am thinking maybe square, I just am not a fan of high necks for myself.  So, Even though I haven’t been working on it tons, I have been thinking about it.

Michelle (the knitting grammy) mentioned that 30 minutes in the morning to knit is a good way to get it in. Morning!! Me!! ACK!! I don’t know if I could do it. I have a hard enough time getting out of bed as it is. However, I agree that 30 minutes of me time each night is what I need to do no matter what.  Taking that into consideration, I spun for about an hour last night.

I’ll try to take some pictures later. The clouds are moving in, its windy and I’m all curled up on the couch. Which means I’m too lazy to do that.