A Knitting Affair

but insightful.

No I’m not going to start lip syncing to Milli Vinilli (sp?) (and if you don’t know who they are, well, then you are REALLY missing out on some good years).

On Friday I received a letter from my Oma and Opa with pictures of my dad. I had asked, when he died, to get a baseball cap, cigar and some pictures. I got nothing. Dad’s parents sent me the pictures that they had of dad. There weren’t many as they had sent a lot to my stepmother for the memorial/funeral service. These are now framed in my dad’s old house and were never returned to his mother. I’m a bit bitter but that is for another post. Today, I was tired and emotional. I couldn’t figure it out. Then, David and I went out for dinner and I started to cry when I was telling him about the pictures and the letter from my grandparents.

I always think that I am fine. That I am doing really good when it comes to dad and his memories. And then it hits me when I don’t expect it. Yes I did cry when I looked at the pictures on Friday, but, for me, that was the extent of it, or so I thought. Obviously I am affected a little bit more than I initially thought. I was driving home tonight and started to cry when I listened to Elton John’s Rocket Man. I think of dad whenever I hear that song. Its actually on my ipod songs of the moment. Perhaps a lesson in desensitization?

Anyways, I have this one memory of dad that always brings a smile to my face. The Rolling Stones singing Emotional Rescue. My dad singing along. Picking the seeds out of his dope. Yeah okay. So not the most "child friendly" memory (I was maybe 4-5?) but its something that makes me smile. It was SO dad. He was such a goof, but also a wonderful man, most of the time. Of course there are "bad" memories but no one is perfect.

I am going to take the pictures into work and scan them. Perhaps I will post some at some point.